This is a topic that I have been going backwards and forwards on whether to write about, especially as it's really just the beginning. What is really stopping me is that other than a couple of close friends and our doctors, no one else knows that T and I are trying for a baby at the moment.
Our parents have no idea. Neither do our brothers. We have been very quiet about the whole process since we decided to start trying because we really don't want the pressure. We both love our families, but T's parents would love it so much if we had a baby and while my parents claim they're not old enough to be Grandparents yet, I know they would be over the moon as well.
But the pressure is still there. The expectation that we're going to have a baby is hanging in the air and we both know that if we opened our mouths and told everyone we would be inundated with questions about how we are going.
And the last thing that we want is to be asked in a round-about way how much sex we have been having.
There is also a bit of pressure from myself on myself as well. I'm not exactly in the healthy weight range and while I have lost nearly 15kgs in the last year, I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be in order to fall pregnant. I've lost the amount I needed to lose but I'm not where I want to be. But I'm turning 30 next February and T turns 33 in October and neither of us wants to just be turning 40 and have very young children.
What is also putting pressure on me is that I have Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome, which can lower my fertility. I've been very lucky not to have to deal with a lot of what some women who have PCOS have to deal with, but after last weekend and having to deal with my first round of potential cysts, it's finally started to hit me that this may not be as easy as I had first thought when I was 23 and first thinking that I would love to have 3 kids.
And even though both of us wanted to have kids it was not simply a matter of deciding out of the blue that April was the month to start.
Coming to the decision that we wanted to start trying for a baby this month has been something that T and I have been talking about for a long time. For the better part of 18 months, we have been talking on and off about it. Working out when we wanted to start, what was going to stop us from starting this month as opposed to last month, what is going to happen financially, could T end us being transferred and deployed before we get to start.
It was multiple conversations that ended with the two of us sitting on the couch and chatting while T played PS4 and deciding that it was now or never. Our relationship was in a good spot. T was not getting transferred anytime soon and the earliest it would happen was 2020. Arlo and Daphne (our dogs) were coming out of the puppy phase and starting to settle down out of their puppy excitement a lot quicker. The stars seemed to have aligned and now was our time.
Now you're probably wondering why I've decided to start this series and that answer is very simple - I want to connect with my reader on more than just an informational level. My plan with this blog was alway to help inform and help nannies and parents, but I also wanted to throw in parts of my life as well in order to connect with you all on a deeper level. This is also a subject that many women will personally go through so I would love to be able to share my experience and hopefully help another woman who is just starting to try for a baby as well as talk about developing social skills.
So here I am, a week out from my first period after we've started trying for a baby, writing this so I have a written starting point on this journey. Long or short, I want to be able to share it with you all and go through everything that we tried before having a baby in our arms. I've also always been someone who will write down their feelings and thoughts more than express them, so this series is a great way to document everything.
I don't expect miracles. I don't think that we're going to get so lucky that we'll fall pregnant this first month. Our karma is good but only to a certain extent. Both of us have had to work hard to get to where we are at this point in our lives. And as much as I would love to be proved wrong, I don't think we're going to get it right, right of the bat. But that isn't going to stop me from hoping.
What was the catalyst that made you and your partner decide that it was time to try for a baby?
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