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Toilet training is both an amazing and frustrating part of raising a child. It's amazing because it means that your child has reached a milestone where they are no longer in nappies and have reached a stage of independence. However, the frustrating side is all the work you have to put in before it becomes a habit.
Over the past 10 years of being a nanny, I've helped to toilet train a lot of children and what you'll find in this post is all the things that I do to ensure that the whole experience is a positive one for both you and your child.
Things you'll need
Underwear
It probably goes without saying, but you're going to need to go shopping for underwear. What I always suggest to parents is that they take their little one who is about to start toilet training with them and have them choose the underwear. Making it something that they chose for themselves as part of them becoming a "big boy/girl" makes them excited to start toilet training. Don't worry if your little boy chooses undies that have unicorns on them or if your little girl chooses trucks, as long as they are excited for what is to come that is the main thing. Just ensure that they're in a size that is going to fit your little one and you're good to go.Stickers
Need a quick source of encouragement? Stickers are amazing things to use. Stock up on all the stickers you can, even get your child to help choose them, and then keep them in the bathroom for easy access. After every successful trip to the toilet/potty they get a sticker that they can either wear or put on a sticker chart.Potty or Potty Seat
Personally, I'm not a fan of the potty and prefer to use a Children Toilet Potty Seat
that can just be placed on the toilet to stop them from falling in. However, pottys are still a good tool to use. You don't need to get an amazingly expensive one. A basic one like the OXO TOT Potty Chair
works just as well and you can even find cheaper ones.Step Stool
Even if you're using a potty getting a step stool is going to be useful. Once your child has graduated from the potty to the toilet you'll find that they might be a little short to get on it. A step stool allows for your child to climb on an off on their own without assistance. For little boys who are going to stand up and wee, having that extra bit of height also helps to prevent them from weeing all over the toilet seat.What to do during the lead-up
As great as it would be for you to jump straight into toilet training, getting your child prepared is just as important. Taking them shopping for their new undies makes them a part of preparing to begin as does them choosing stickers. Once you have the idea planted, that's when reading books about toilet training comes into play.Introducing toilet training through books allows kids to see what they're going to go through in pictures. While they may have witnessed you or someone else use the toilet, having a story read to them about it brings a different dimension to it and helps to prepare them. It is similar to what you would do if they were about to become a big brother or sister. I personally love the Ready to Go! Toilet Time series as they have a girls
and a boys
version. It's very simple, amplifies that it's them becoming a big boy or a big girl and just helps get them excited. This series that I have linked is the kit version which has sticker charts and stickers in them as well.Once you've read through the books, you can then introduce the sticker chart the night before you're going to start. Show them the chart, explain that every time they are successful they get a sticker to put on it. I have a five sticker and a full chart prize that helps to encourage them even more. For every five stickers that they get they get a small prize - like a couple of jelly beans (prizes are up to you). Once the page is filled however, they get a bigger prize - like a small toy from K-Mart. Once they are successfully toilet trained they can get a bigger prize - like a trip to the zoo - to celebrate their achievement in full.
Once your child is aware of what is going on, you begin training the next day.
Potty Training Method
1. From the moment that your child wakes up put them in undies. For the moment all you're going to focus on is keeping them dry during their awake hours and once they have those down you can focus on the sleeping hours. Once they are in undies, remind them what is going to happen and what they need to do if they have to go to the toilet. Then go about your day as normal.2. Every thirty minutes ask them if they need to go to the toilet. If they say yes, stop what you are both doing and head on into the bathroom. If they say no, continue on with what you're doing. Every sixty minutes, however, you're going to take them to the toilet regardless. If it helps you remember, set your timer on your phone or if your oven or microwave have one use that.
3. Once in the bathroom, help get them set up to go. If they're going to be sitting down, bring a book in and read to them for a couple of minutes so they relax and let things go. If they're standing up, make a game out of it but placing a ping pong ball in the toilet and getting them to aim for it. You don't need to worry about the ping pong ball being flushed down the toilet, it's too light and generally just rolls around when the toilet is being flushed.
4. When they are successful, praise them, give them high five and then go through the normal hygiene routine that comes with going to the toilet. Once hands are washed, let them choose a sticker and place it on the sticker chart or if you don't have a chart, wherever they want it to go.
5. If nothing comes, that's fine. Tell them we'll try again later and give high fives for trying.
6. Repeat these steps throughout the day, only stopping for nap time and bedtime (where they are changed back into a nappy and immediately back into undies once they're awake).
7. At the end of the day make a huge deal about how great they did so they are excited to try again the next day. If they've made it to five stickers already, they can get their prize after dinner. If not, they try again the next day.
Tips and Tricks
1. If your child has an accident, don't make a big deal about it. Tell them it's ok, they're still learning and they'll get it next time. Then get them cleaned up. Focusing on the negative is just going to make the experience harder for them and for you.2. If you're going to be going out during toilet training, make sure that they go to the toilet before you leave. When you arrive at your destination, make sure you know where the toilets are so you can make a quick path there if you need to. Continue asking every thirty minutes if they need to go to the toilet and taking them every sixty.
3. Carry a couple of changes of clothes with you when you go out. Just because you may not have had any accidents at home doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It's better to be prepared than try and tempt fate.
4. Toilet training regression is a thing. You can think they've got the hang of it and a year later all of a sudden it's gone downhill. Don't feel as if they're being lazy. Reset everything and go back to reminding every thirty minutes and taking them every sixty. Get them back in the habit once again.
I know this post is a little long but I wanted to finish off by telling you that everything that has been said on this post has been summed up in the Toilet Training Guide that I have for sale. Inside it is 4 different sticker charts (two blue designs and two pink designs), the things you'll need and what I wrote above about the routine and tip and tricks. It's a digital download and is available on Etsy for $3.25AUD. You can find it by clicking the shop link at the top of the page or by clicking here.
I'm going to finish off by saying that the length of time it takes to toilet train depends a lot on the child, like most things. Some kids pick it up quickly, others it takes a little longer. Just keep chugging along until you get there and you will get there!
What was the thing that motivated your child to toilet train?
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